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The money pit – or is it?

April 8, 2015

My apologies to my regular readers for the lack of any new posts for so long.

To be honest, there were a hundred things more important to fill my days: scrapping Sue’s car, changing my car, making the house habitable for my family at Christmas, loads of electrical items needing replacing (8 blown bulbs, a smoking freezer, vacuum cleaner cutting out, heater that didn’t, laptop with dodgy soldered joints and a vicious Trojan on my main desktop computer …)

Anyway, with an installed PIV unit and some warmer weather, the house is drying out and I’m keeping up with filling and painting the resulting cracks. Sue is making a valiant effort at removing all traces of paint where they shouldn’t be and, this week, we’ve even made a start on tidying the garden and getting the swimming pool ready for use.

So I wrote this  Ode to a House.
 
Lament for a house
 
Oh, old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house there was some dirt
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
Ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house the roof had leaks
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
With a drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house the walls were damp
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house the floor fell through
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
With a hole here, hole there, holes, holes, everywhere.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house there were four toilets
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
With a flush here, flush there, flushing toilets everywhere.
Hole here, hole there, holes, holes, everywhere.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in the garden there were some moles.
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
Mole hills here, mole hills there, flaming mole hills everywhere.
Flush here, flush there, flushing toilets everywhere.
Hole here, hole there, holes, holes, everywhere.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house the walls weren’t straight
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
Leaning here, curved there, non-straight walls everywhere.
Mole hills here, mole hills there, flaming mole hills everywhere.
Flush here, flush there, flushing toilets everywhere.
Hole here, hole there, holes, holes, everywhere.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house the bills kept coming
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
Bills for this, bills for that, non-stop bills for everything.
Leaning here, curved there, non-straight walls everywhere.
Mole hills here, mole hills there, flaming mole hills everywhere.
Flush here, flush there, flushing toilets everywhere.
Hole here, hole there, holes, holes, everywhere.
Mouldy here, peeling there, mouldy, peeling everywhere.
Drip, drip here, drip, drip there, drip, drip, drip, drip everywhere.
Dirt in here, dirt in there, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt everywhere.
 
Old Rob Ford, he had a house
ee, aye, ee, aye, oh.
And in that house
The sun shone, the water in the pool glistened,
the leaks and damp and holes were fixed. The flowers opened in the garden
and they decided not to rename the house “Money Pit” after all.
 

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